When a couple has made the decision to separate, mediation is one of the few avenues available to help lead a divorcing couple toward a peaceful resolution of the differences and help them to remember the continuing love, forgiveness, and grace of God. Biblical principals of understanding, compassion, reconciliation, and forgiveness are more easily seen and achievable through a mediated approach to divorce than in the usual adversarial legal proceeding. 

Mediation offers a safe environment in which the parties can communicate and help alleviate the natural tendencies of mistrust and fear. The mediator helps the communications between the couple to stay focused on the future and on the best interest of the children. Mediation helps the couple to develop a foundation of courtesy and respect for the other rather than dwelling on the hurts and grievances of the past.  Mediation helps them to begin to withhold judgment of past actions, which allows the elements of understanding, love, forgiveness, and reconciliation to become a part of the divorce process. 

The parties cannot erase the past, but past hurts can be healed. For many couples, treating each other with courtesy and respect in the midst of divorce is very difficult, but it is possible to seek fairness in the resolution of the divorce. The mediator assists the couple in looking toward what lies beyond the divorce while helping the conflicted parties to find common grounds for agreement. When the mediator helps the parties focus on the future and the options available as part of the negotiation process, previous problems become challenges to be overcome. This requires that the parties seek to understand the needs, hopes, and desires of the other and helps develop a basis for preserving a future relationship. This search for a fair resolution of the issues is often a first step toward what may, later, become reconciliation. 

It is always hoped by the mediator that the process of mediation will help the couple to improve communications and learn to resolve differences more easily and possibly reconcile the marriage. If this is not possible, the mediator's objective is to assist the divorcing couple in reaching agreement by resolving differences as amicably as possible. 

When the final agreement is reached it is the mediators desire to hear that the spouses respect and care for one another, even though they know that they cannot live together as husband and wife.


JERRY KING LAW OFFICES
P. O. Box 160396
San Antonio, TX  78280
(210) 497-8046