When a couple has made the decision to separate, for whatever reason, one of the most difficult challenges they face is to overcome the urge to “take them for everything they have”, and instead seek to dissolve the marriage with dignity, acceptance and respect. 

It is very difficult for either party to focus on their future and how they want their divorce to proceed instead of on their prior conflicts and grievances. Mediation can assist the parties, particularly parents, in maintaining a congenial relationship and help them focus on plans for how they want to move forward with their lives.

You do have a choice about how you will dissolve the marriage.  Court proceedings are usually expensive, and can be very stressful, particularly on children. They are adversarial and there is arguing and blaming, and prior conflicts and grievances are emphasized. In court, each side desires to “win” and to do so they must emphasize the past in a negative manner. Each attorney will present there side of the issue in a manner that makes the other party look as bad a possible. This severely hinders any chance of preserving any type of future relationship.

For those who desire a separation with dignity, class and respect, mediation can help. Mediation facilitates a safe courteous environment and cooperation between the parties.  This can help reduce the stress and anxiety involved. Mediation usually resolves disputes faster and cheaper than going to court. Also, since both parties work towards a mutually acceptable arrangement, there is no “Winner or Loser”, and the dignity of both parents is preserved.

Mediation is a process in which a mediator, who is a trained neutral third person, helps the parties communicate with each other and seek a mutually acceptable agreement regarding all aspects of a divorce. A mediator helps the parties maintain their focus on the future and begin the process of talking constructively about the issues that need to be resolved. The parties make the decisions. No decision is rendered by the mediator. The parties seek to reach an agreement on terms they each find acceptable, and no terms are imposed on a disagreeing parent. 

Also, mediation offers the parties the ability to explore unique solutions that fit their particular needs and which may go beyond the remedies available to a court such as a child’s college education. A mutually acceptable solution lets both parties be winners, maintain their dignity, and show respect for each other. 

Because the parents themselves design the voluntary settlement that the parties reach, it is more likely to be carried out without the need for further legal proceedings. This is an extremely important benefit. 

How individuals act is a reflection of their values. Mediation offers the parties an opportunity to express the highest of human values: respect, caring, acceptance, forgiveness, and understanding. All of these and more can be expressed during divorce, even in the presence of anger, fear, and pain. Take time to quietly look inside yourself to discover what you want, both now and in the future. It is your choice.


JERRY KING LAW OFFICES
P. O. Box 160396
San Antonio, TX  78280
(210) 497-8046